no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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