So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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