Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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