woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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