Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize