Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
