I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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