at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize