Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
