You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
