Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
