Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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