And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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