every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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