Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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