Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
