Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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