Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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