D3 body, D1 cock
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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