We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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