he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
should my penis look like a turkey
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize