If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
