Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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