next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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