Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
