And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
