When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
