Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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