singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
