i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
