no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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