make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
