True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize