yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
