We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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