Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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