Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
