He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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