yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize