I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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