I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize