Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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