yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
