i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
