She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
