Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I can't believe he cheated

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how

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(417): View more from Missouri

Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm so glad i pay social security

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet

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(770): View more from Georgia

Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?

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