Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.

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(614): Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash. http://tfl.nu/fkwm

Replies (8) Good night (2902) Bad night (610)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

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(785): I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best http://tfl.nu/ugel

Replies (13) Good night (937) Bad night (2259)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off

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(304): Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off http://tfl.nu/t5im

Replies (48) Good night (1919) Bad night (3661)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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(701): entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place http://tfl.nu/zqzf

Replies (8) Good night (6409) Bad night (1594)
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(713): View more from Texas

Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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(713): Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car http://tfl.nu/eifp

Replies (11) Good night (3654) Bad night (1249)
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(970): View more from Colorado

went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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(970): went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out http://tfl.nu/unz9

Replies (16) Good night (1300) Bad night (6159)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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(617): these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean. http://tfl.nu/z2n6

Replies (13) Good night (2368) Bad night (1502)
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(914): View more from New York

There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do

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(914): There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do http://tfl.nu/metj

Replies (8) Good night (2173) Bad night (1196)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?

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(616): Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive? http://tfl.nu/dksl

Replies (3) Good night (1933) Bad night (678)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.

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(404): Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken. http://tfl.nu/s1v7

Replies (10) Good night (1120) Bad night (2890)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players

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(651): We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players http://tfl.nu/pd68

Replies (4) Good night (2006) Bad night (637)
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(619): View more from California

Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

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(619): Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't. http://tfl.nu/8mv6

Replies (14) Good night (4552) Bad night (1594)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd

Replies (11) Good night (999) Bad night (1813)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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(410): I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk http://tfl.nu/te86

Replies (12) Good night (1291) Bad night (768)
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(914): View more from New York

He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.

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(914): He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him. http://tfl.nu/d8kc

Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (471)

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