are you so shy because you have an std?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
