Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick