So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...