OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back