I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.