the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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