Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
