If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
