i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
