Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
