i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
