Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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