And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
