I accidentally had phone sex last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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