I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize