my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
